Skip to content

Lucy Bellwood

The online home of Adventure Cartoonist Lucy Bellwood

  • Books
    • 100 Demon Dialogues
    • Baggywrinkles
    • Anthologies & Other Publications
  • Online Comics
  • Shop
    • Online Store
    • Digital Comics & PDFs
  • Blog
  • Rambles
  • Speaking & Teaching
  • About
    • Bio
    • Contact
    • Constellations
Delights

Consider the Eagle

A photo of a surprised looking baby eagle, beak open, pop-eyed, staring at the camera. Below the photo is a block of all-caps text taped to the frame that reads "i’m only telling you this once coz if you’re not interested i’ve got other options. i’m a baby eagle. yes, my hair’s all sticky-uppy & it looks like my face exploded, but check out the beak. that’s a beak, baby, razor-sharp hook for ripping & gouging during pirate attacks, very nasty, very effective. and those 2 little holes either side? “nostrils”, say you? “bollocks!” say i! fire comes blasting out of ‘em. turning everything in their path to ash. i know. i know — all traditional pirates have parrots, but parrots are overrated. let me tell you. what you need is an eagle, and i’m it. i can perch on your shoulder & caw better than any bloody parrot. although when i get older certain problems arise, like i weigh 40 pounds & have a wing-span of 22 feet, not easy on the shoulder. and if i let go my most powerful screech & i’m close to your ear, you’ll go deaf, and a deaf pirate’s no good to anybody. but i can catch fish. so think about it, and remember this: if we’re in a battle & i’m fully grown & you’re about to have your head chopped off by a cutlass. wielding loony, i just pick you up in my claws & fly you to safety. cool, huh? so call me. 646-2558, or if i’m out flying around on my new cell: 805 798 9065. take a tip from me: lose the bloody parrot!"

Unearthed this particularly fine birthday card (c. 2007) from my dad today.

April 1, 2021April 1, 2021Bellwood Ephemera, birthday, dad, eagles, parrots, pirates

Published by Lucy Bellwood

View all posts by Lucy Bellwood

Post navigation

Previous Previous post: Nesting and Turning
Next Next post: Brushpile

Help make my adventures happen!

Become a Patron!

Upcoming Appearances

Nothing planned right now! Stay home and stay safe, y’all.

Proudly powered by WordPress / Theme: Shoreditch by Automattic.